Attachment Styles and Therapy

Sandplay Therapy Lets the Unconscious Speak

Attachment Style forms in each of our childhoods as the brain continues maturation after birth. For example, the hippocampus- the region responsible for social engagement, largely forms relationally during early childhood. Neuroscience and epigenetics tell us that in these years, healthy gene expression and brain development depend on the child’s felt sense of loving-connection to caretaking adults largely outweighing the other overwhelming events.

The world of Attachment Science demonstrates that  developing brains need lovingly-attuned nurture to thrive. In validating their child’s confusion and pain (Psychological Mirroring), adults foster healthy neurodevelopmental growth. This becomes especially important in circumstances exceeding the developing brain’s capacity to understand. In the best possible circumstances a Securely-Attached child develops strong resiliency in their validated, unique, and emerging sense of Self through this process, unto adulthood.

In over 50% of the population, with attuned caregiving assisting the child to safely experience the world, the child’s brain develops a healthy Secure Attachment system capable of easing emotional regulation. However, in children exposed too many overwhelming circumstances, trauma responses affect healthy brain development, which in turn, lead to more overwhelm and dysregulation of emotional states.

Everyday life events of even witnessing trauma: illness, death, divorce, substance abuse, hunger, a car accident, along with “othering” experiences of neurodivergence, learning disabilities, racial, gender and LGBTQIA inequities, etc., affect developmental changes in the child’s brain. Even with caregivers actively safeguarding children from affects of adverse childhood experiences (ACES), unanticipated events can cause lasting structural changes in the brain leading to emotional dysregulation, emergence of a judgmental Inner Critic, and expression of physical symptoms into adulthood. A negative narrative emerges…an unconscious story we tell ourselves based upon a perceived need for protection from failure:

“Although a recurrent negative narrative is expressed through words…its very essence is embedded in neuronally encoded emotional memories of early attachment experiences. Thus, narratives become the cognitive expression of emotional dysregulation, containing within them past interactions, emotional memories, defenses, and distorted conclusions all triggered by emotional stressors similar to the original ones” (Ginot, 2015).

Psychodynamic and Relational Therapy can step in towards counteracting Anxious/Ambivalent, Avoidant/Dismissive and Disorganized/Dissociated Attachment Styles through restorative experiences. In essence, therapy works due to it being an Attachment Relationship, re-wiring the brain towards an Earned Secure Attachment.